Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
