I think my fart just growled at me.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Even my vagina gasped.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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