how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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