Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
