kristin has been a bad kristin
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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