let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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