I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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