Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
