I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
