at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
