After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
