it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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