the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
