A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
