For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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