Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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