Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
