she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
