Your face is a jimmy john
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
