Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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