If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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