I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
