Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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