you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
