shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
