is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
