remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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