After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
