Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
