They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
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Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
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Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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