i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
