I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
