i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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