guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
