I am in a vortex of obligation.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We have started to decorate penises.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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