But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
