Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
