So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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