Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Text me some of your sweat
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
