Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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