Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize