I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My breasts were aching with rage.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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