I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
