i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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