she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
