guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
