You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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