I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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