You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This girl is more easily done than said...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
