There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
