I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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