Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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