Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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