i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
