can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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