HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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