Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
