I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
