I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
