Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
