and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
