people are starting to question the shark bite story
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
