What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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