Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.

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(514): I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later. http://tfl.nu/cmn8

Replies (6) Good night (2798) Bad night (844)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4

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(973): ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4 http://tfl.nu/vujr

Replies (8) Good night (1397) Bad night (796)
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(817): View more from Texas

Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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(817): Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have. http://tfl.nu/2nqb

Replies (23) Good night (770) Bad night (4707)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction

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(604): I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction http://tfl.nu/piq1

Replies (19) Good night (5452) Bad night (845)
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(253): View more from Washington

he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.

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(253): he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not. http://tfl.nu/7v4r

Replies (14) Good night (1675) Bad night (3997)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

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(410): I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile http://tfl.nu/t48c

Replies (5) Good night (2451) Bad night (1355)
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(517): View more from Michigan

My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough

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(517): My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough http://tfl.nu/k0hj

Replies (5) Good night (954) Bad night (1718)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed

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(715): 1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed http://tfl.nu/vbeb

Replies (7) Good night (2383) Bad night (694)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.

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(803): All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning. http://tfl.nu/8h0t

Replies (5) Good night (668) Bad night (1112)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.

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(417): I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer. http://tfl.nu/udvx

Replies (3) Good night (1171) Bad night (503)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating

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(216): I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating http://tfl.nu/1tih

Replies (3) Good night (1212) Bad night (405)
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(305): View more from Florida

I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."

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(305): I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season." http://tfl.nu/ns3v

Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (308)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too

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(731): Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too http://tfl.nu/4c0u

Replies (8) Good night (1425) Bad night (659)
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(813): View more from Florida

Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?

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(813): Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating? http://tfl.nu/e7er

Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (405)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.

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(402): There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans. http://tfl.nu/d410

Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (401)

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