break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
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I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
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Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If you need anything just hit me up