Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?

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  (513): I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious? http://tfl.nu/32zi
  Replies (9) Good night (894) Bad night (1413)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.

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  (515): This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot. http://tfl.nu/nttq
  Replies (8) Good night (2683) Bad night (625)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth

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  (704): I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth http://tfl.nu/9h3z
  Replies (4) Good night (665) Bad night (2813)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

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  (781): Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning. (1-781): I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon. http://tfl.nu/wxu1
  Replies (19) Good night (6238) Bad night (752)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.

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  (520): she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce. http://tfl.nu/u935
  Replies (25) Good night (768) Bad night (7083)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.

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  (732): I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/b4iy
  Replies (10) Good night (2096) Bad night (3751)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating

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  (330): He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating http://tfl.nu/fig2
  Replies (7) Good night (2816) Bad night (2472)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...

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  (313): Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts... http://tfl.nu/l45c
  Replies (6) Good night (2223) Bad night (1925)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.

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  (423): I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant. http://tfl.nu/k43z
  Replies (9) Good night (872) Bad night (2111)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.

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  (604): He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there. http://tfl.nu/lavl
  Replies (10) Good night (2115) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I just found it. I hope it leads to food.

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  (302): Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm... (302): I just found it. I hope it leads to food. http://tfl.nu/w6o4
  Replies (7) Good night (1949) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting

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  (580): This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting http://tfl.nu/ouax
  Replies (10) Good night (1078) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.

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  (732): Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking. http://tfl.nu/mu8a
  Replies (3) Good night (1194) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.

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  (315): Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer. http://tfl.nu/5ks9
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.

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  (858): Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself. http://tfl.nu/wluz
  Replies (1) Good night (850) Bad night (296)

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