thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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